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Saturday, February 20, 2016

Musings Of The Muddled Male

Shopping as Exercise
By Bob Stevens, The Muddled Male


Ann, my wife, worries that I don’t get enough exercise. I, on the other hand, feel that I am probably getting too much since I drop off to sleep as soon as I sit down to watch the news. In my defense I have developed a very disciplined exercise regimen designed to keep me physically and mentally sharp. If you have ever seen Ann and I grocery shopping, you have witnessed “Bob at exercise".

I call my routine the Aerobic Shuffle. It only requires two specialized pieces of exercise equipment. The first is a shopping cart, usually furnished by the grocery store at no charge. The other is an iPhone preloaded with mind stretching games of your choice. The iPhone is, of course, a little more expensive than a free grocery cart, but justifying one to your wife is the first step in exercising your mind. If you can convince her that you really, really need an iPhone then your mind may already be sharp enough to allow you to focus mainly on the shuffle.

The shuffle requires the subject to hold the iPhone in the right hand while leaning on the shopping cart handle with the left elbow. You may need to occasionally grasp the cart handle firmly with the hand to facilitate steering while attempting to maneuver around the potato chips or some other display at the end of the aisle. Next you shuffle sideways with the left foot in the lead while playing your favorite game on the iPhone with your right thumb.

Leaning to the left stretches the abdominal muscles, shuffling strengthens your calf muscles, and sliding your thumb around on the iPhone screen strengthens your grip. Doing the whole thing while trying not to drop your iPhone makes your heart race and speeds up your breathing, thus providing the aerobic part.

I am convinced that even Ann notices the resulting improvement in my overall health. I say that because she seems to have loosened up a little on the dietary restrictions she normally uses to control me. The other day she said as much when she hollered over her shoulder on her way out the door to go visit a friend, “Bob, I left your lunch on the counter.” Well, I’m always ready for lunch and so I dutifully went to the fridge to get my health beverage, strawberry flavored milk. I choose strawberry flavored milk since milk gives me Calcium for my bones and, because strawberries are fruit, I am claiming that strawberry flavor gives me antioxidants to protect my cells from oxidation.

When I moved over to eat my lunch I thought I had died and gone to heaven. There on a napkin was a small portion of Fiddle Faddle™. Oh there were also several sugar peas to remind me to eat healthy, but the Fiddle Faddle was the main course. To top it off I found Nature Valley™ granola bars called Sweet & Spicy in the pantry for desert. And to satisfy every boy’s dream, a box of Berry Berry Kix™ in case I needed a little breakfast cereal to round out my lunch.

And then I realized that she had given me the Fiddle Faddle only because she wanted to empty the box so she could put it in the recycle bin. She left me the Sweet & Spicy bars because the dark chocolate into which each has been dipped is sometimes claimed to be healthy, and the cayenne pepper only adds zing. And she left me Kix only because General Mills is using vegetable and fruit coloring in place of food dyes such as blue #1, red #40, yellow #5, and yellow #6.

I have not only been tricked, I have been used. To get back I plan to go out and buy another box of Fiddle Faddle and keep it in my office to eat when she’s not looking.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Big Fish Are Being Caught!


Shantell Calder caught a really big one!

Rich County Sheriff Report, January

Anita Weston, Reporter
Rich Civic Times

INCIDENT REPORT BY NATURE OF INCIDENT
Nature of Incident
Total Incidents
Abandoned Vehicle
1
Agency Assistance
2
Alarm
3
Animal Problem
11
Child Abuse or Neglect
1
Citizen Assist
7
Citizen Dispute
1
Civil Process
3
Criminal History
14
Dui Alcohol or drugs
1
Finger Prints
4
Fire
1
Harassment
1
Juvenile Problem
1
Lockout
1
Lost Property
1
Medical Emergency
8
Traffic Accident with Damage
10
Suspicious Person, Circumstance
3
Theft
4
Traffic Hazard
4
Transportation of Person/ Property
1
Vim Serial Number Inspection
4
Welfare Check
3
     TOTAL
90


TOTAL INCIDENTS BY LOCATION
Location
Total Incidents
Garden City
28
Laketown
15
Out of County
1
Randolph
32
Woodruff
14
     TOTAL
90

  
INCIDENT REPORT BY LOCATION
Garden City
Total Incidents
Abandoned Vehicle
1
Agency Assistance
1
Alarm
2
Animal Problem
2
Child Abuse or Neglect
1
Citizen Assist
4
Civil Process
3
DUI Alcohol or Drugs
1
Harassment
1
Medical Emergency
3
Traffic Accident with Damage
3
Suspicious Person/Circumstance
1
Theft
1
Traffic Hazard
1
Welfare Check
3
     TOTAL
28
  

INCIDENT REPORT BY LOCATION
Laketown
Total Incidents
Alarm
1
Animal Problem
4
Citizen Dispute
1
Medical Emergency
4
Traffic Accident with Damage
2
Traffic Hazard
1
VIN Serial Number Inspection
2
     TOTAL
15

  
INCIDENT REPORT BY LOCATION
Out of County
Total Incidents
Traffic Hazard
1
     TOTAL
1

  
INCIDENT REPORT BY LOCATION
Randolph
Total Incidents
Agency Assistance
1
Animal Problem
5
Citizen Assist
2
Criminal History
14
Fire
1
Lost Property
1
Medical Emergency
1
Traffic Accident with Damage
3
Suspicious Person, Circumstance
1
Theft
2
Transportation of Person/Property
1
     TOTAL
32



INCIDENT REPORT BY LOCATION
Woodruff
Total Incidents
Citizen Assist
1
Finger Prints
4
Juvenile Problem
1
Lockout
1
Traffic Accident with Damage
2
Suspicious Person, Circumstance
1
Theft
1
Traffic Hazard
1
VIN Serial Number Inspection
2
     TOTAL
14


TOTAL TRAFFIC CITATION REPORT BY AREA
Area
Citations
Violations
Garden City
2
2
Laketown
1
1
Randolph
6
10
     TOTAL
9
13
  

TOTAL TRAFFIC CITATION REPORT BY VIOLATION
Description
Total
Minor in Possession Alcohol
1
Minor in Possession Alcohol
1
Speeding
6
Possession Controlled Substance
1
Possession Marijuana
1
Possession Drug Paraphernalia
3
     TOTAL
13


TOTAL TRAFFIC WARNING REPORT
Area
Warnings
Violations
Laketown
1
1
Randolph
1
1
Woodruff
1
1
     TOTAL
3
3


TOTAL TRAFFIC REPORT BY VIOLATION
Description
Total
Speeding
3
     TOTAL
3


Avalanche In Logan Canyon Closes Road

Photo by Utah Avalanche Center 

A wet avalanche crossed Hwy 89 in Logan Canyon at the Dugway at around 2:30 in the afternoon, Tuesday February 16 . The highway was fairly quickly cleared by a UDOT crew in the area. 

Eric Frandson, of the Cache Valley Daily, reported that temperatures above freezing and light rain Sunday and Monday made for dangerous avalanche conditions in Northern Utah's backcountry. The Utah Avalanche Center spotted several avalanches in the area, including one in Logan Canyon on U.S. 89 in the area commonly referred to as the Dugway.

Other avalanches were spotted in Logan Canyon at lower elevations, near the River Trail and in Green Canyon. The Avalanche Center has issued a High avalanche warning for lower elevations throughout Northern Utah because of warming temperatures and saturated snow.

Remember that you don't want to try to hand dig a route around avalanches on the road because you expose yourself to following or adjacent avalanches which are likely in many areas.


Letter To The Editor

Dave Cook, Garden City resident asked that the following survey be in the RCTonline.  The survey questions may be answered via the comment section following this letter. 

"I feel confident that you “will not” find a majority of Garden City residents that want to pay more taxes for a 6.5 million dollar recreational center and put the city in debt for the next 20 years. 

To find out, before throwing away $5,000 of our tax payers’ money for more information, ask the residents by sending out the following survey:


Survey page:

Please answer the following questions concerning the City Councils proposal to build a 6.5 million dollar recreation center in Garden City by checking the appropriate response below:

            1.  Would you like a recreation center in Garden City if it means raising taxes to pay for it?

_____  Yes     _____ No     _____Need more information to answer your question.


            2.  If you checked “Need more information”, do you want the City Council to use $5,000 of tax payer’s money to acquire that information for you?


_____  Yes    ______ No

Community Emergency Response Training

Anita Weston, Reporter
Rich Civic Times 

GARDEN CITY, Utah.  February 11 2016.  The Bear River Health Department CERT (Community Emergency Response Training), representative asked that the City work with him in getting a training program going in Garden City.  He noted that the training takes 21 to 24 hours.  It has been scheduled for the third Saturday in March, April and May. The  LDS 2nd  Ward has agreed to furnish a lunch on those days for those involved in the training program.  Mike Wahlberg, Garden City Fire Chief, will be assisting with the training and is most excited to get the program going in Garden City.

It was noted that a coordinator will be needed to keep track of the individuals who have the training.  That individual will be responsible for calling the trained individuals three or four times a year to review and keep their training current.

If the City decides to create response teams, they assume a liability for the teams.  Hopefully, some of the individuals will get enough training to become trainers themselves.  Many individuals who have summer homes here should also be included if they are willing.