By Jim Stone, The Pickleville Philosopher
Well ya know when ya gotta go, ya just gotta go! I hope this fun story isn’t too graphic to tell but I had an awesome day duck hunting. Then I just watched one of those reality shows on TV. It was about Alaska and a honey bucket. Some of you might not know what a honey bucket is. It’s just a big ten gallon bucket which when you are in the outdoors, the honey bucket is where ya go to do your business.
Speaking from my experience it’s pretty uncomfortable. Well years ago I was running a float trip with my dog Bozwood, he was a big bear of a yellow lab, I think he was more human than a dog. We were on one of Alaska’s wildest rivers running a float trip for salmon, grayling, giant rainbow trout, char and pike. We would float 125 miles from the head water to the ocean once a week. Then a big float plane would pick us up at the bottom and fly us to the top to do it again. Me and Bozwood loved it. At that time in our lives we were best friends living the Alaskan adventure together.
Well, when your charging the amount of money that a fully guided world class fishing trip floating a wild river of Alaska having all most all your comforts of home provided for you by the hard working guides, you make it almost like being in a wild home in the outdoors.
We headed down the river with a bunch of yuppies from New York City. Remember the part of having all most everything from home except one thing I never had really thought about like a toilet with water in it that you can hit a button or lever. When you have a honey bucket in Alaska on the river you have a bathroom tent and a deep hole with a roll of TP and a toilet seat attached to some frame work to have pretty nice comfy toilet seat with a dry hole below it, but there’s no kerplunk like when there’s water in the bottom.
I had one of the clients from New York, Bob, ask where the bathroom was. I showed him where it was. Bob came back to camp in like 30 seconds and he did not look so good. When you’re a public servant like I’ve always been, like a waitress or food business or grocery store worker, tips when you get one are a big bonus. I call it working the tips. So ya work extra hard and pay attention to every ones needs.
Bob couldn’t use the bathroom for a number 2. Bob said he just couldn’t do it without water in the bottom so there’s a kerplunk. So when you’re a guide or a public servant ya get paid a wage but ya work the tips.
Well, I got a little closer to the wild Alaskan river and I dug a deeper hole. I hit water and dug a few more shovel full to make sure there was a kerplunk zone for Bob.
I was working the tips I needed to save my tips and money two have a business of my own. I went back to camp and told Bob, “man you got all the comforts of home go give it a try.”
I was worried about Bob. But Bob was successful. He came back to camp and he got his kerplunk. So from there on, all the guides were trained to dig a deep hole so there is always water for the kerplunk.
We had a wonderful fishing trip we caught some huge fish. We had great fresh wild food. I would go pick wild berries and make pancakes, French toast with berries on the side. Again working the tips so we got to the end of our fishing adventure and Bob finally got comfortable and he had a fun time.
Bob came up to me after we had a great trip down a big huge Alaskan river and reached out and shook my hand. That’s how a lot of people hand you a tip. A tip is really cool, it is telling you that they appreciate you and your hard work. It is "thanks for making me feel at home and all the great food, fishing, being like I’m doing all these wild things with my safe zone like being in my own home." Bob shook my hand with $500 bucks for a tip...ha ha… what a tip! So from then on us guides dug a deeper hole for the kerplunk. It was amazing, our tips went up that year. True story.
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