Eighteen Wheeler Philosophy

By  Mel Hansen

New Trainee

Jett...(Uncle Mel has just christened him...ROCKET MAN) is my Great Nephew. His Grandpa Hansen is my brother Glen.

The Rocket is going to be my passenger for the next few days! We’re both excited to be able to get the chance to get to know one another!

He has his mother’s, Taryn (my niece), personality so this ought to be one Hell of an adventure!

Age to a youngster

Rocket- How old are you Uncle Mel?

Me- I’m two years younger than your Grandpa Hansen.

Rocket- I don’t even know how old my Grandpa is!?

Me- I’m 59...almost 60.

Rocket- WOW!...you’re old!!

He’s quiet for a few minutes and then looks at me in wide eyed astonishment...possibly a little worry also?...and says: HOLY COW! My Grandpa is...REALLY OLD!!!

I bust a gut laughing! Telling him that no matter what, his Grandpa will always be older than me!

We both laugh a little bit longer, then I tell him, “No matter what! Never ask your Grandma how old she is or tell her she’s...REALLY OLD!

Rocket- Oh don’t worry! I won’t!!

Me- You’ll do fine Rocket. You’re already wise when it comes to shemales!

Stretching our legs.

I thought the Rocket might need to stretch his legs (Actually, to be honest, I needed to stretch mine) so I pulled over at a truck stop.

I asked him where he wanted to stretch his legs too, thinking he would leave it up to me, which would be a 50 yard walk to the store?

The Rocket spotted a McDonalds a half block away, so that’s where we stretched too! Damn near killed me off!I was going to call Uber to pick us up to take us back to the rig!He’s like his Great Grandpa Hansen.  Plain hamburger with cheese and large fries. So far so good. He’s a great little gentleman.

The Rocket has a fuse!

It’s just the way of things! Uncles TEASE newfools! (nephews).

I asked The Rocket  what he wants to be when his mommy says it’s alright for him to leave home? (He said, that’s everyday!) He wants to be a professional baseball catcher for his favorite team.  Nationals or the Yankees.

I’ve always disliked the Yankees! haven’t even heard of the Nationals (goes to show ya how long it’s been since I’ve paid attention to Pro Baseball) But since the Nationals, I guess are out of DC?, they have to be rotten like the rest of the city! So of course, I’m giving him a hard time about his choices of teams. He’s getting a little steamed at his ol Unc!

I told him: “That’s it buddy! I’m stopping the truck and kicking you and all the puke smelling Mac and cheese  you brought to eat onto the side of the road!!”

I ask him who’s his favorite NFL team is?  The 49ners! So I come down heavy on the San Fran Noners! I’ve really initiated Rockets firing up procedures! He’s starting to blow steam out his ears!

So I say....” I suppose your favorite Pro Basketball team is the...Utah Spass!??

He’s into full launch mode now!

He’s really letting me have it!

I back off the fuel pedal a little...as I’m slowing down...I tell him...”That’s it Rocket!  You’re out of here! I’m tossing ya out!”

To my utter astonishment his quick reply was...”Can ya wait for me to download the Uber App so I can call them for a ride home?”

(Had to turn my head so he couldn’t see me laughing)

I told him “gettr downloaded Rocket or blast off for home!

Then I told him...Ok Rocket! This ones for real...will ya stay?..or will ya go?...depends upon your answer to this question?.....How do you feel about BYU? Within a nano second his reply was....”They suuccckkkk!!”

I told him he could stay! That I guess he wasn’t rotten to his core!

Again in a nano second he said “I guess?...Big Yellow Underpants...are good for something!..I’m not getting kicked out!”

We both split a gut laughing!!

He’s been a delight to have along....so far?