Eighteen Wheeler Philosophy

 By Mel Hansen

And this is one of the many reasons my Grandma and Mum called me a “Damn Little Devil!” Sitting here listening to a local radio station as I’m getting

offloaded...the DJ is asking:

“What food dish that your mom...or spouse...made/makes that regardless of hurting their feelings did you refuse to eat?”

Immediately I had the answer for my sweet mother! It’s the only thing she made I just couldn’t bring myself to swallow!

Her...Christmas Fruit Cake.

I even tried to let mold grow on a loaf she sent with me to take back to college one time to see if that would make it taste better? It was so bad that even the mold wouldn’t grow on it!

Now to be fair to my sweet mother, my Grandma Hansen’s was just as horrifying, but my Grandma had this “secret Rum sauce”she would pour over hers! I would lick that piece of Fruit Cake until it was shiny enough to see myself in, and then suck on bites of it until it lost its flavor, and then look for the dog to see if he wanted what I was about to spit out!

Remember when your parents would tell ya, ”All you’ll get in your Christmas Stocking will be a lump of coal!”

I feared a loaf of Christmas Fruit Cake in my stocking way more than a lump of coal!  At least a lump of coal will burn and provide a little warmth!

Both my Mum and Grandma knew I didn’t like their Christmas Fruit Cake! I think that’s why they took particular delight in watching me trying to eat it!

Now as for my pretty little wife?  She’s still feeding me, and there’s nothing she makes that I won’t eat!

But she’s never tried cooking me a Christmas Fruit Cake either!