Ed Note: Leslie struggles with brain chemistry issues and is sharing her amazing journey as a wonderful wife, mother, friend and colleague.
By Leslie Scott
Saturday, I laughed! My husband made a stupid comment about
a toilet, and I laughed! And it felt.... so.... wrong! Isn't that weird to say?
It felt wrong to laugh!
I haven't laughed, I mean really laughed for weeks. I wanted
to bottle it up, and put it on a shelf so I could take it down and remember
what it felt like whenever I needed to.
It reminded me of a newborn babies first laugh. So many
times they laugh, and the thing they are laughing at isn't even funny, but it's
like they have this new emotion they can't contain, and so they laugh.
I felt like this laugh had been buried deep in my soul. Just
waiting to burst free. But because I feel like just a shell, going through the
motions, it was trapped.
The toilet comment wasn't funny, but I doubled over in pure
joy! I think I even snorted! The laugh had finally found it's way to the
surface, and in that 30 seconds I felt like myself again.
As I calmed down, I remembered these words,
"Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying.
There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon, some come late,
and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus
Christ, they come. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in
good things to come" -Jeffrey R Holland
What a tender mercy a small, 30 second laugh was for me. I'm
still in here, somewhere! Trying to break free. It will come....ONE DAY AT A
TIME!
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