Fearless Foodie

                                                         

By Scott Heiner

Say Cheese

…as I was saying, I grew up in a small rural town in northern Utah where the meals were based on  How I got to be a passionate foodie in that environment is not clear.  I’m sure it’s partly due to my endless curiosity about just about everything—including food—and my interest in trying new things.  

meat and potatoes.

            One of the foods I am passionate about is cheese.  It started when I was about 7 or 8 years old when I would go to the grocery store with my grandfather.  At the meat counter, they had a huge wheel of cheddar cheese encased in a layer of red wax.  Grandpa would have the butcher cut off a large wedge of that cheese, weigh it and wrap it in white butcher paper.  Back home, Grandpa would cut off a slice of that cheese and eat it with a slice of apple.  I followed suit and developed a taste for good cheddar cheese.  Oh, that cheese was good!  It had a nice salty nut-like flavor, but the best thing about this cheese was its consistency.  It was very firm, about like Swiss cheese.  As a young adult, I used to buy cheese like that in vacuum-sealed 1-lb bricks in the supermarkets, but the quality has gone way down.  Now, it’s nearly impossible to find cheese like what I had in my childhood days.  I have to go to specialty markets or delis.

One thing I was always curious about was Limburger cheese.  That cheese had a bad rap with jokes and cartoons about how bad Limburger smelled.  One day, years ago I was at Smiths (I think) at the deli area and noticed way back on the top shelf some packages of Limburger almost out of sight.  Those packages must have been sitting there quite a while because they all were coated with dust. (Apparently this stuff wasn’t all that popular).  I also noticed that the expiration date had passed some time ago, but that didn’t deter me.  This was my chance; I had to find out about this (in)famous cheese.

Now, Limburger cheese is supposed to be soft, spreadable with a knife.  When I opened this package, however, I discovered it to be about the consistency of thick gravy.  And, oh, boy, it did smell!  Luckily, my wife was away or she’d have thrown me out, cheese and all.  Well, I had paid good money for it, and I was committed.  So, I spooned some of the glop onto a cracker and took a bite.  Wooeee, was it strong!  I eventually managed to eat about half the package, but I was done in.  I had discovered the strongest of the strong.  Now I had some idea of the range of cheese strengths, from American Cheese to Limburger.

As I grew older, my interest in ever bolder, stronger cheeses grew.  When I was a kid, I didn’t like blue cheese dressing but I certainly outgrew that.  Now I crave the stuff and could eat it with a spoon right out of the jar.  It’s strange, and somewhat embarrassing that the cheeses I love best smell just like stinky feet.  I recently learned that the similarity between smelly feet and smelly cheese is no coincidence; the same type of bacteria is responsible for both.  I know… it’s a fetish and I’m weird beyond help.

It is well known in my family that for me, the best Christmas, Father’s Day or birthday gift is an assortment of cheeses.  No neckties for me, thank you.  I lean toward the stronger and harder cheeses, but I like them all.  Camembert, Gouda (it’s really “guud”—sorry, I just couldn’t help myself), Gruyere, Brie, Feta, Edam…I could go on and on.  There are so many different cheeses to pursue, and I’ve only begun.  I’m on a crusade to discover all the kinds of cheese in the world.  The more I learn about the varieties of this milk-based treasure, the more I realize I’ll never find them all.

So, two years ago, we moved to Bear Lake, with no source of good cheeses around.  I felt like I was in a cheese wasteland.  But I learned I was wrong.  Gossners in Logan (one of the largest cheese manufacturers in the U.S.) makes some really great cheeses.  I now make regular pilgrimages there to hit their sample table and pick up some of their addicting cheese curds along with some of their Muenster or Colby.

Last spring my daughter gave me some amazing cheeses from Rockhill Creamery in Richmond.  They are a small dairy that makes craft cheeses in small batches based on European recipes.  I had no idea.  Then, just the other day I heard about a small cheese and wine shop just north of Bloomington.  I’ve got to check them out ASAP.  Here, I was thinking my cheese adventures were over, but on second thought, I think I’m living in Cheese Heaven!

Just writing this, I’m really getting hungry.  Time to go break out the cheese and crackers.

Until next time, happy eating!

Scott wants to hear from you about your foodie likes and dislikes and any interesting eateries.

scottsheiner@gmail.com