Reflections on the Journey

 Ed Note:  Leslie struggles with brain chemistry issues and is sharing her amazing journey as a wonderful wife, mother, friend and colleague.

By Leslie Scott

When someone is struggling, especially with a mental illness, it's so hard to know how best to help. I always want to make sure I say the right thing, do the best thing, and be there when I'm needed.

But I've learned these past weeks that it's not about doing the "perfect" thing. It's just the DOING that's important.

I don't sleep. Four hours is the max that I am getting right now, and that is with medication. Often times, breakdowns happen before bed because I'm so afraid of what the dark will bring. I'm not able to keep moving, so I read a lot to try to keep my mind busy, but I ache for sleep. It just seems to elude me.

One night, I heard some rustling in my room as I was trying to go to sleep. This is not uncommon as our kids are required to charge their cell phones in our room at night. Ten minutes later I hear my husband mumbling about an oil diffuser in the middle of the floor. And what was that smell?!

The next morning I learned that my sweet Carter, with all the love in his heart, had mixed all of his favorite oils together in his diffuser to help me sleep. And because I don't have a night stand, he had pulled it as close to my bed as he possibly could, which put it directly in the middle of my bedroom floor.

My point is this....the oils were stinky, it didn't help me sleep, and had if it been kicked over....it may have been disastrous! But he DID something. You know the saying, "It's the thought that counts"? It's so true! In that moment, I felt so much love from an 11 year old boy, who did what he could do to help his momma sleep. Every night for the next week, my diffuser has been filled with the same concoction of who knows what. And I LOVE it!