The Unmuddled Mathematician

The Unmuddled Mathematician
By Chris Coray

It’s been an interesting week.  We are in Florida, doing our best to render a little service this week to dear life-long friends.  So we have been thinking about things more important than the usual hum of everyday life.  That is not to say that humor isn’t important and at the end of this article there will be one comment.  But for now you get my Bucket List.  The items are not necessarily ordered.

1-      Remain faithful to my God and try to live as He has instructed,

2-      Take care of my companion in all important ways and tell her more frequently that I love her,

3-      Spend as much time as possible with the 3 jewels in our family we call granddaughters and try to lift them up whenever I can.  During all of my life preparing to be a mathematician and throughout that career I never saw coming the great blessing that would be mine as I get to help those girls in their studies because grandpa can actually do mathematics,

4-      Be useful to others,

5-      Avoid all contention.  This is not easy as it seems many seek it,

6-      Try to be as dependable and competent as the “Muddled Male”,

7-      Never become a burden to others, especially my daughters,

8-      Anonymously surprise someone with a gift or help,

9-      Be a bigger support, both emotionally and physically, to my sister who continues a 15 year intensive effort caring for our mother,

10-   Stay close to my friends,

11-   Try to stay fit

As you read this list notice that it doesn’t contain anything about a big fish or some football game.  So much of my time is spent on stuff not worth a spit.  I must do better.

However, there are some small things that cannot be ignored.  The Mano e Mano gauntlet thrown by the engineer last week needs at least some response.  Did any of you notice that in his article about his “improved” version (over my model) of the IPhone 6+ carrier he has designed he included photos.  These photos are “Selfies” of his own fanny, taken by himself.  His wife did not take those pictures.  He is the only guy I know who at age 79 has taken photos of his own rear end, albeit encased in “Man Pants”, and then published them.  A little guy wearing “Man Pants”.  That’s a good one. I want all to know that I have an actual photo, which I am hereby threatening to use, of the ultimate IPhone carrier, namely a fanny itself.  In this photo, which is not a selfie (or a photo of me), the IPhone is actually implanted in the owner’s fanny, from which it sends a radio signal to the owner’s special new hearing aids, and hence onward to the user’s ears or computer glasses for video stuff. This set up is completely waterproof and recharging occurs while sleeping in bed.  Top that one.  The photo may appear in a future article.  One becomes either a left cheek or a right cheek carrier.

And by the way, I would like to catch a bonefish and a wahoo.