Mel Hansen, Eighteen Wheeler Philosopher
We don't need a wall on the borders! All we have to do is move all Tyson Food Plants to the border and by $&@ nobody will get in!
I didn't even get the brakes set before someone was at my door asking to see my driver's license! He escorted me to drivers check in...where I had to show my license again!...plus fill out an inch worth of paperwork declaring that it was indeed my license! (I was sweating profusely because I was sure they were going to ask me for my birth certificate and immunization records! These I didn't have to produce on the spot but had to sign another inch thick worth of paper saying I promised to have them faxed by the time I was ready to leave!)
I was assigned a loading dock door...I was escorted back to my truck, backed the trailer into a building where I had to unhook trailer...pulled truck out...big door closed to hide and seal trailer inside of building... and assigned a spot to park until they came and told me I was loaded!
Now before I arrived there my bladder was three times it normal size due to the over consumption of GatorAid...and I was in great distress and discomfort! Them scaring the $&@$ out of me didn't help matters either!
I asked if there was a drivers lounge with bathroom facilities I could use? He told me there was a drivers lounge but no bathroom facilities but I could use the employees bathroom. I said..."Let's hurry please before I embarrass myself!" He escorted me to the entrance....swiped his ID card to get us in...took me to two nice looking ladies behind bulletproof proof glass where guess what? I had to pull out my license again!...they made a photocopy of it! Sign and date my time in to use the bathroom! (Felt like just whizzing right there but I'm sure I'd been on the 10:00 news with footage of me with my pants down while being arrested by Tyson Food Security!)
Just barely made it to the bathroom!!....but I was so nervous and scared that I was being videotaped that I stood there for quite awhile!
As I went to leave I had to again sign and date my time of departure from the bathroom! (I'm really biting my tongue by now from expressing my innermost thoughts! They weren't pretty! Certainly not appropriate for this column) and I was escorted back to my truck!
They came and told me I was loaded and ready to roll. The big door was opened, I backed in and hooked up, all under strict supervision! When I exited the building the man supervising me immediately closed the two doors and was about to seal them when I yelled out "Hold the Hell on a second! I'm responsible for this load and I need to make sure it's secured the way I want it! And to make sure it's even loaded!" He backed off...I looked inside...I was indeed loaded and my load locks the way I wanted them! Doors were closed and sealed!
I was again escorted to delivery and shipping where once again I had to produce my license...they too made a photocopy of it...I was handed my BOL and was escorted back to my truck where I was more than happy to....GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!
If everyone was vetted to enter/vote in the USA the way I was to pick up a frozen load of....MEATBALLS! Maybe there wouldn't be so many...Meatheads!
The only thing I exaggerated on was having to provide birth certificate and immunization records! If you don't believe me!....go pickup a load of anything from a Tyson Food plant!....but use the bathroom before you do!
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