Aw, Nuts!
…which brings to mind another class of foods I’m insanely fanatic about—nuts!
There’s a story about a pair of LDS missionaries who were visiting a sweet little old lady. On her coffee table, she had two bowls of treats: one with little chocolate balls and the other bowl full of nuts. She needed to leave the living room briefly and, excusing herself, invited the boys to make themselves at home. One Elder started eating the chocolates while the other Elder chose to partake of the nuts. When the lady returned, she saw the second Elder chomping on the nuts and exclaimed, “Oh, my goodness, those nuts aren’t to eat! They were chocolate-covered. I wear dentures and can’t chew nuts, so I suck off the chocolate and put the bare nuts in the other dish!” The second Elder could have been me.
My wife, Sharon loves chocolate, but me? I’ll have nuts. I’ve sometimes suggested (only half-joking) that she suck off the candy and then give me the nuts inside to eat. Chocolate nuts, candy-coated nuts, peanut brittle or Cracker Jacks are all well and good, but in my view, the nuts are really what gives the candy its value. If anybody offers me candy, I tell them: “I have a dietary restriction; I can only eat candy with nuts in it.”
Besides cheese, the appropriate/proper gift for me would be nuts. At Christmas time, when everybody unwraps their presents, I’ll always look forward to getting a flat box. I shake it and if it gives a familiar rattle, I’ll get a big smile on my face and exclaim, “Aw, Nuts!”—my Christmas was made! As a boy, I’d always get an 8-oz can of salted mixed nuts (usually 60% peanuts). That can of nuts would be empty before the end of the day. Now, I like peanuts, but it’s the tree nuts that rule. They also sell cans of peanut-free mixed nuts, but they cost a lot more. It always depends on my financial situation at the time; when money is good, I’ll indulge on the peanut-free variety.
What are my favorite nuts? Well, when I was a young lad, cashews were the best, followed by almonds and hazel nuts. In my adult years, cashews were somehow demoted to 3rd place. Later macadamia nuts made their appearance in my life. For me, they are now at the head of them all--the crunchiest nut that I know of. However, macadamias are difficult to produce and also, coming from Hawaii, very expensive. So, macadamias are generally reserved for very special occasions.
Then there are pistachios. Not only are they delicious, they are an excellent way to keep me awake while on long late-night drives. I carefully crack them open one at a time (with both hands at the top of the steering wheel of course) and eat them. This manual activity can keep me alert for many long hours.
And let’s not forget chestnuts. They are uncommon in Utah and only seem to be available at Christmas time, but they are so good! If prepared properly, they come out moist, not dry… oh, my knees get weak just thinking about them! Walnuts and Brazil nuts? Well…ok, I’ll admit it…I am a picky eater after all; you are welcome to mine.
Everybody knows that nuts are one of the healthiest of foods. According to Wikipedia, “People who eat nuts regularly have better health outcomes. This includes reduced rates of coronary heart disease, cancer, stroke, heart attacks, and lower chances of death.” Considering how I eat nuts, I’ll probably live to 110.
When I was a kid, we only got nuts at Christmas time, but the produce sections of supermarkets now feature packages of nuts year around. One of the brands of these packaged nuts is “Nuts for You,” from Preston Idaho, of all places! Who knew?
A while back, I was driving to Logan and decided to take the longer scenic route through Emigration Canyon. As I entered Preston from the north, I passed a large building with the sign “Nuts for You” on it. Taken by surprise, I did a quick U-turn and screeched into the parking lot. Inside, the shelves were laden with nuts of all kinds. Peanuts, cashews, almonds, hazel nuts, pistachios, pine nuts, corn nuts… and they came in every flavor and variety imaginable. Chocolate covered, smoked, wasabi, cinnamon, you name it, they had it. As I scanned the shelves, tears of joy streamed down my face and I exclaimed, “I’m in Heaven!”
Until next time, happy eating!
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