Reflections On The Journey

By Leslie Scott

Ed Note:  Introducing a new columnist for RCTonline.  Leslie struggles with brain chemistry issues and is sharing her amazing journey as a wonderful wife, mother, friend and colleague.

I missed my 5 am workout this morning. I told myself I was too tired to get up and do it today. Then I lay in bed, wide awake, for 45 minutes, thinking about how I should have gone and worked out.

So, I laced up my running shoes and went on my first time in a long time, outdoor run! It sucked!

But I pushed myself so that I could feel something other than despair. That for once, maybe I could be in control of what I was feeling. And the tears just fell!

I got to the bottom of this hill and told myself that it was too hard. That I couldn't do it anymore. Life was too hard, the run was too hard, and the hill was definitely too hard. And then I heard, "But the Light is just on the other side!"

I looked up and saw the sun just peeking over the top, and pushed myself up the hill. All I wanted to feel was the warmth on my face!

I find metaphors in life so often when I struggle. Maybe it's because I try so hard to find peace that I feel is so far away most days. But isn't it interesting that just as I wanted to give up, the light shone through?

Today I found a small piece of comfort in knowing that my Light is at the top of the hill. I can choose whether I quit and turn around, walk slowly, or run towards it.

I chose to run today!!! And I hope that as I keep searching for the Light, that l will become a little bit stronger. Every hill is a chance to grow. Every new morning is a battle won. And I will keep taking it One Day At A Time!